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Thursday night I was at dinner with my family; it was a gorgeous evening crisp and clean air quickly cooling by the nightfall from a warm and sunny day. Just one of those great casual evenings consisting of hangout-with-the-family time.
Royce, my seven-year old daughter, was really being quite loving with me. She kept holding my hand and looking at me, and wanting to cuddle. And, she’s my “red personality” (see www.colorcode.com) daughter who is an intense driver and go-g0-go, so this was a little unusual for her. Soon to be six-year old Zoe (who is “Blue”; intimacy, relationships, time, details) is usually the one that wants to cozy up.
Then, springing from some a quiet moment, an interesting dialogue occurred. And it went, verbatim, just like this.
Royce: “Dad, sometimes I don’t think I could marry anyone, ever.”
Me: “What do you mean, Royce? I expect you’ll get married someday! And I’m sure the guy will be amazing!”
Royce: “Well, it’s just that I love you so much, and you’re the best Dad in the world, and I can’t imagine anyone better than you! Seriously, you are the best Dad I’ve ever met. Ever! I don’t think I can ever find someone as good as you that I love so much.”
Me: “Royce, that’s is probably one of the sweetest things anybody has ever said to me, you really think I’m a great Dad?”
Royce: “Of course! You’re the best!”
Me: Thanks Royce…But, really, and I feel kinda bad about this, there are times when I don’t feel like such a good Dad to you and Zoe.”
(side note: I’m completely expecting Royce to fully refute my feelings of inadequacy as a Dad, so in retrospect I’m not sure this was quite a genuine response from me–if anything, I was probably looking for a little validation!).
So Royce continues without even a hesitation…
Royce: “Well, that’s because there are times you aren’t such a good Dad. But that’s okay, I love you no matter what and still think you’re the best Dad out there!”
And that was, perhaps, one of the most authentic, transparent, and unconditional moments of love that I’ve felt from another human being in my entire life.
I say it to my kids all the time that “I love you, no matter what”, but to hear it in the context of a very real assessment of my imperfections (because the truth was that day I wasn’t being a very lovable Dad!) made tonight’s moment something that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
Royce, thanks for a such an authentic experience about what it REALLY means to love someone…no matter what.
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The beauty of a pure Spirit communicating from her Heart. We all learn lessons this way as as you said Raz, it was a great one for you. And it’s great that you share this because acknowledging Who we are to others builds our belief in ourselves. Without belief and Faith, Life is empty and meaningless..
Thanks for sharing..
Jonathan
WOW! You are one lucky dad! Oh, Royce is pretty lucky too! I doubt it gets much better than this eh!
Hi, thanks guys! Actually Royce is sitting right next to me as I am reviewing my blog and she was so giddy to see a few comments already in response to this story.
Wow!! that put a super big smile on my face. What an emotionally intelligent beautiful little girl,,,and what a gift.
Hi-Thanks so much for sharing-what a truly great tribute to unconditional love-my we try to be that wise as adults!
Wow, how very blessed you are to have such a beautiful spirit as Royce in your life, Raz. Thanks for sharing that touching family story with us. And Royce, speaking as someone who comes from a family that did not have such a great dad, just know how very, very, VERY lucky you are to have such a wonderful man as your father, even if he isn’t perfect! (And great pic, btw, little one!) π
Thanks Toby and Andrea! π
I love it! Such truth in simplicity. They’re such fantastic kids!
And another lesson here is, if you “set up” a Red, be prepared for total, brutal honesty. It is in our nature, we can’t help it! π
Enjoy these special times with your daughters, because all too soon they are in high school, then college, and before you know it you are walking them down the isle.
But then that is the time you get to be a great grandfather.