The Problem with People

I know it’s a negative sounding start, but there are–indeed–quite a few problems with people. All of us. 🙂

Without railing against humanity, as there’s good to humanity as well, the problem with people is we’re often greedy and selfish.

I’ll forego the whole “well is it nature or nurture” debate, partly because it doesn’t really matter and partly because it’ll distract from the post.

I remember reading about a really interesting study done a while back, this is probably many years ago now though I expect there have been quite a few variations before and since. The study was simple. They looked at a group of people and through a series of systematic trials and proper research offered them two different options to determine which choice they would make and why (the numbers I’m using below are illustrative–I don’t remember the exact amounts offered but the principle is what I’m trying to share).

Here were the two simple options presented to the study participants.

1. You get $20 and another peer/neighbor would get $40.

OR

2. You get $10 and another peer would get nothing.

Guess what the majority of people chose?

Option two.

I don’t understand it. If you’re reading this you’d probably say you don’t understand it either. But, the conclusion was that many people (not everybody) are generally were not motivated for a decision that was better for them (though perhaps not as “better” as someone elses) but, instead, opted for the decision that would be lesser for them than the alternative BUT better than someone else’s alternative.

It’s not just scarcity thinking (a whole other topic which isn’t quite as black and white as some project), it’s really just selfish thinking. It’s pride. It’s ego.

So maybe, just maybe, this is our natural inclination (I don’t really like to admit it, but I’m relying on the research here), yet there’s also a way to work through it. I’m not sure how to really articulate it, but I think part of it is through community (though we should work to be less selfish even if people aren’t in community).

(I sure am using a lot of parenthesis in this blog posting).

Over the past week I’ve seen some great examples of humanity and selfLESSness. And I think it’s one of the virtues of getting connected in the right community. Some are small examples, and others still quite big.

It’s one of the great things about Univera, after some fantastic meetings with the best of our leadership at the Corporate offices last week followed by some exceptional meetings over the weekend down in Portland. During this time I met people that through personal development, aspiration, inspiration, and discipline were focused on forging out the selfish behaviors and decisions that cloud the success we can see in our life–and I’m not just talking about success in the context of “more money” though I think that’s probably related as well.

The Kimpton Hotel chain is, to me, a great example of what can be done through community that helps change personal behaviors. It’s one of the best service chains I have EVER experienced. I could easily give you about ten examples of some spectacular service I’ve experienced. But it’s not forced. THE PEOPLE THERE ACTUALLY LIKE TO SERVE. It’s not like the Ritz Carlton, which I never have liked because of the expense AND pretense of the environment, what rubs to me as “forced” levels of service. I realize some will disagree with this so it’s just my opinion. But, instead, the Kimpton employees are genuinely gracious. Sincerely kind. Helpful. Polite. Naturally friendly. But part of the catch is they are already hiring in great people, it’s not like they are trying to run a rehab program for people with bad attitudes. But I am also certain that, in conjunction of hiring genuinely great people, those people in turn become better.

I am certain that a key part of their very sophisticated strategic plan is the exceptionally complicated initiative called “let’s just hire nice people.”

So how does this relate to the origination of the post, where the study referenced suggests people would rather have much less but be “better off” than their peers versus having more yet being “less” compared to others?

Well, a few simple things. And I don’t think there’s anything profound here–it’s just some observational thoughts after a long week of seeing a bunch of human dynamics.

1. Ego ruins an awful lot. And it causes people to make very irrational decisions. In addition to simply selfish ones.

2. Community is important. Lest we become even more selfish, greedy, and try to keep up with even more Joneses.

3. The right community is even more important. It’ll either spur you on and encourage you to give and serve more, or in the wrong one it’ll cause likely encourage the reverse.

4. And, finally…I think rationalization helps improve selfishness. If, at times, it’s an instinct to make for a selfish decision I think the process of stopping. Thinking. Assessing. Reassessing. And then really looking at, as the wise Dr. Taylor Hartman says, your motive.

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