A few months ago I wrote a post about how I lost a grand. And didn’t follow my intuition.
You can read about that one here.
Shortly after writing the post a friend of mine encouraged me to reach out to him and let him know I’d forgiven the debt. It was the right thing to do, after all, I’d just written about what I KNEW I was supposed to do all along. A few months went by, and finally I wrote the overdue email.
Early in the morning I sent the email off relieving him of his burden, never expecting to hear back a response or acknowledgment. And to my total surprise, later that afternoon, I received an apology email with the promise to pay me back.
I’ve carried the chain of messages (omitting names and anything remotely descriptive) because I feel it’s given me two different learnings:
The first is that when your intuition says to do one thing and you do something else, well often we’re given another chance to get it right. I didn’t get it right the first time…but I think I did the second time when I sent the email relieving the debt. Note: this isn’t anything noble or generous that I did, it’s what I was supposed to do–so please don’t interpret me as posting this as anything remotely self promoting–to the contrary, it took me a while to figure out what I was supposed to do all along.
The second is that even if you’ve screwed up (and man, I know I have…) you often get a chance to get that right too. And my trainer did, he offered to pay me back in full. While I’m not accepting it–you can’t pay back a debt that was relieved–he did his part to make things right. And that’s enough.
Tonight I’m looking at this situation which bothered me for a while and finally feel a sense of accomplishment in such an unexpected way. Not just for me, but for him as well. It wasn’t easy to respond to my message, acknowledge it, apologize, and own it. But to his full credit, that’s exactly what he did.
Sometimes you do get a few shots to get things right.
Thank God…
~Raz
On Nov 9, 2013, at 1:11 AM, Rich Razgaitis <richraz@gmail.com>Â wrote:
Hi XYZ,
Hey Raz I thank you for the email. I am well and truly apologize for my behavior. I considered you guys to be really good friends. Although you have forgiven my debt I would like to pay you back starting at the beginning of the year. I was in a bad place and felt like I was drowning so I made some bad decisions. I’m back in the Bay and would love to maybe hook up with you and talk.
Cheers,
XYZ
On Nov 7, 2013, at 6:19 AM, Rich Razgaitis <richraz@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi XYZ,
I am not sure what’s going on in your life, but I wanted to drop you a quick line and give you an update.
The short version is that I am forgiving your debt that you owe to me of the nearly $1,000 outstanding.
I do want to mention that I felt how you handled this by ignoring me and not following through was disrespectful, especially when I believed in you and went out on a limb to help you out. This also hurts yourself and your reputation. There are a lot of courses of action that I could have taken on this, including having my personal attorney file claims against you, which would have landed you in court and tied you up in legal trouble/expenses.
However, I have decided to take a different tact and forgive your debt instead. I believe you are a good person, who could do really well, but have gotten into a difficult situation and simply made a really bad decision about how you handled this with me.
Hopefully life is turning around for you, and that you are making inroads with your business.
Best of luck to you,
Raz
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