A Little Help from My Friends

“Correction does much. But encouragement does more.” -Goethe

I have blogitis again.

The origins of which are complicated, but the clinical presentation is always the same: an absence of compelling blog posts. But from last week up until just an hour ago, three people sparked me to blog right now about, well, what’s compelling me to write. Perhaps the reason it was so touching to me is b/c I’m just struggling to make time for this among all the other priorities.

But then it hit me, from three different people, during the course of last week. And it wasn’t logic. No money involved. No carrot. No guilt. No publicity. It was quite simple. There is just one thing that changed my outlook on my blog, and also my general perspective for my life today:

Encouragement:

I’ve spent too much of my life correcting and not enough encouraging. And I’m not talking about the slapdash stuff that we sometimes deliver people, like an impromptu “hey hey, what’s happening…love that shirt, hair looks great, you’re amazing!” whilst making a wink and a nod and a click click noise coming from your mouth with your fingers pointed at the person like you’re holding two revolvers.

For the record, I have never ever done that. Ever. At least not the winking part.

It costs us nothing. It takes practically no time. Yet we don’t do it very often, we treat it like it’s this scarce resource, when we should be offering it up freely–especially to those who need it. So, there it is. I could add 5,000 words, but I don’t think the reminder would be any more compelling.

Today I’ve got a packed day of activities out in Jersey, which is everything from working with a painter and separate carpet installers to going to the post office to Home Depot to the hot tub store to doing lots of yardwork to shopping at Healthy Habit (touching story about the guy who used to own this, someday blog material) and a myriad of other projects.

And of all the things I have to do today is to give someone else the gift that someone gave me today. Something that might either be as simple as brightening their moment, or changing their outlook on their life. Encouragement.

Special thanks to Robin, Louise, and Dr. Coldcall.
(see Dr, I told you you’d make the blog someday :))

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8 Replies to “A Little Help from My Friends”

  1. Rich,
    You not only have been an encouragement to me but a good friend that has never talk in person to but yet seen each other many times. Some times words can not do what an encourging smile can do or the twinkle in one’s eye say so much.
    Thank you.

  2. Hey Raz,
    Can you believe that all these years I’ve known you, I haven’t left a reply to any of your blogs? And to think, I’m a “yellow-red” and want people to notice me. Yah know, attention hog. Well, you know that about me in person but my online presence has been on the DL until the FB bug bit me last year. Now the blogger’s bug has me typing and creating fitness & health pages and stuff.

    Anyways, I read your post today because the photo really grabed and put a choke-hold on my maternal instinct. I recently got knocked upside the head with the very same revelation during a message from Pastor Kevin Gerald, about words that “elevate”. As a dominant yellow, I’m excellent at genuine compliments at church, out in public, and in business settings. To my ownly son, I am both the Mom and the Dad since dude is M.I.A. So for Tanner’s almost 16 years (on July 27th), he’s experienced the strict disciplinarian (red) parent more than the encourgaging, cheerleader (yellow) “Mommy” he had as a toddler first learning to walk.

    For my team and clients, I work very hard to balance both as appropriate to the situation and their personalities. In my shock, when Tanner took “The Hartman Personality Profile”, the results showed yellow-red! What a dork I’ve been! All worried that he would become a criminal, a good-fer-nothin’ if I was too nice or a fun Mom. How mislead I’ve been! I know, stop beating myself-up. If you met him, you’d say he’s an amazing kid.

    Goethe’s statement “…encouragement does more” really has me praying even more for wisdom and guidance in the area of parenting. He’s getting his driver’s license in 10 days! Whoa!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Miss you, Ma’aaan,
    Marlina

  3. Great post Rich!

    This is so true. so often we want to just FIX everything the way we THINK it should be! The Ultimate coach really only Facilitates personal discovery within another. The first step to that is usually encouragement!

    It is a great feeling to always be encouraging to others and see them brighten up a bit. Everyone should do this, If we find it difficult to encourage, it forces us to look for what is good, positive and beneficial in the moment in order to deliver encouragement! That helps everyone grow!

    Thank for dropping some breadcrumbs on your journey Rich!

    All the best to you,

    JM

  4. Hey Marlina, thanks for the great posting. Miss you, as well, but so glad to still be able to connect w/ you periodically. Thanks for sharing a great perspective. I love the story. By the time I’m responding to this, Tanner’s in all likelihood got his license by now. V cool! Congrats, my friend, you are doing amazing. Keep on!

  5. Raz,

    I made the blog! I am honored to be a part of this particular subject. As you know I am a big Rocky fan. In Rocky II, Adrian said one word to Rocky – “win”. If you think about it, the entire rocky story was the result of just one word of encouragement. There is no doubt that when someone is against the ropes, all they might need is one word of encouragement.

    Coincidentally, the motivational quote of the day in my inbox was “Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.” — Napoleon Hill: Author, Think and Grow Rich.

    Thank you for reminding me how important it is to encourage people, particularly those that need it most.

    I will leave you with what is in my opinion the best compliment a person can receive: Raz, you bring out the best in others. Raz, you bring out the best in me.

    Thanks again!
    DrCC

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